Just Saying

Reflections of 2025

December 31st, 2025

I’m sitting here looking back over the year as many do. I’m seeing all the changes, good and bad, and trying to come to grips with them in my mind. It’s been a YEAR!!!! I almost feel like since I’ve gotten older, the years are getting more difficult to get through. There are more deaths that take my breath away. There are more challenges that seem to take so much more energy to beat. I have so many friends and acquaintances and life seems so full at times, yet I’m sitting here alone on New Year’s Eve. How do I make sense of all of this?

Life is ever changing. The only consistency is change. I’m learning to sit and enjoy the moments while I’m in them…. knowing that everything could change in a breath. I’ve experienced a lot of loss and deaths but I’m still here. I can still experience more. I can (and should) take a piece of every occasion and move forward with anticipation and wonder. A marvelous merging of past and present making a delightful future.

At the end of the day, keep moving forward. Nothing can be gained by standing still and being stagnant. It’s the only way to grow!
Wonderfully Eclectic Thanksgiving

November 30th, 2025

I ended up hosting Thanksgiving dinner for my mom, sister, two friends and a friend of one of my friends. This was not a planned event. I was planning to have a quiet, relaxing day with my family, but I was persuaded to host when friends had no place to go.

In my past, I’ve hosted many parties, barbecues, etc. that involved so much preparation, cleaning, shopping, etc. Since I lived with someone that didn’t really socialize, I gave it all up and only had very small, casual get-togethers.   This would be my first in over 20 years and I would have “mixed” company which I try to never do. (I try to have people that know each other and have common interests together)

I tried my hand at spatchcocking the turkey and my sister made a new recipe for mac ‘n’ cheese. Both were hits! Everyone brought something that meant something to them, which created a very diverse and non-traditional menu but somehow everything worked together.   We also drank Mead for the first time together.

After dinner, we played several rounds of No Mercy Uno and Bananagrams. Games were new to all of us which also added to the evening. Conversation flowed easily over 80’s and 90’s music, television, commercials and more.

I say all of this to say that my very Type A self-had a great time. I was apprehensive beforehand, but it all turned out great without my turning myself into a wreck worrying about every little detail. As a matter of fact, numbers were exchanged and further meetups are being planned.   Sometimes when you relinquish your imaginary control, the best times are had, and you can make new connections to people.   And, isn’t that what it’s all about anyhow?
Are we creating weak adults?

October 31st, 2025

When I was in grade school gym class, we had various races. These races resulted in clear first, second and third place winners. Fast forward to this day and age and everyone gets participation awards. You might ask, “why?”. Well, it’s because we don’t want anyone to be upset because they didn’t get an award. WHAT? Does this mean that if you’re asked what 2+3 equals and you say 6, that you can’t be told that the answer is wrong because you might get your feelings hurt? No because that would be ridiculous.

Since when is it a parent’s responsibility to provide a new car for your graduating high school senior? When I graduated from high school, I was not given a car and didn’t own my own car until I graduated from college. And that car was used and bought with my own money. GASP!!! I didn’t and still don’t see anything wrong with that. Instead, I applaud the fact that my parents expected me to earn and learn to buy items for myself.

Are we making things so easy on our children that they can’t think very well for themselves? Are we enabling them so much that we prevent them from learning about money and deprive them of the sense of achievement of making purchases on their own? Are we doing them a disservice by coddling them and then releasing them out into the world with unreal expectations? Do our actions prepare them for successful interactions with others in their chosen careers?

As I look around, I wonder about these things. I understand wanting to give your children more than you had when you were growing up but I also see the damage it’s doing. A lot, not all, come to expect being taken care of into adulthood and not handle their finances well. They have champagne tastes, live on beer money and expect their parents to supplement their lifestyle. They don’t understand criticism and the first time their boss doesn’t think their idea is brilliant, they quit their job.

This is something to think about. I think it’s time to make some changes!
“Sweet” just may kill you!

September 30th, 2025

It’s hot outside and you’re thirsty but you’re watching your weight. What do you reach for to quench your thirst? Are you getting a diet coke or a large glass of unsweetened tea that you add a couple of packs of sweetener to? That drink could cost you your health!

Artificial sweeteners are synthetic non-caloric sweeteners characterized by a strong sweetening flavor without calories or carbs.   In other words, they are food additives that are meant to serve as sugar substitutes. They help make vegetables, fruits and other foods and beverages “tastier”. Let’s take a closer look.

In a study published in the British Medical Journal in October 2022, there was a link between aspartame and a higher risk of stroke. Also, people who used sucralose had a higher risk of coronary heart disease. In case you didn’t know, aspartame is your little blue packets of Equal, and sucralose is your yellow packets of Splenda. WHAT NOW???? The same study showed that consuming sweeteners that have no nutrients or calories can alter your gut’s microbes and elevate blood sugar levels.   That high blood sugar level in turn increases your chance of heart disease or stroke!!! In June of 2023, a different study found that these same artificial sweeteners helped gut bacteria to invade cells in the intestine wall which increased chances of infection and/or organ failure. 77 milligrams per day is seen as a large amount of sweetener. Guess what! Two little packs of sweetener are over that!!!

Don’t think that just because you don’t drink diet soft drinks that you’re off the hook. These artificial sweeteners are also in baked goods, ice cream, canned fruits, flavored yogurts, syrup, sugar-free candies, sports drinks and cookies. More disturbing to discover is that they are also in cough syrups, toothpastes and other medicines!

What have we learned here? Equal, Splenda, Sweet ‘n’ Low, Truvia, Nutrasweet, Sweet One, Sunett, Etc = potential leaky gut, heart disease, diabetes, obesity, stroke, cancer, high blood pressure, infection and organ failure.   Not much different results than sugar.

What is the solution? Before you say you’ll just use agave, let me tell you that has an extremely high fructose content! Do NOT turn to regular sugar as that just exacerbates the problem! Eliminate processed foods, soft drinks, yogurts, granola bars, etc. Try to use fruit slices or high-quality essential oils to flavor your water. Go back to eating whole foods. Eat fruit if you want something sweet. Make sure you read those product labels.
Use your voice

August 30th, 2025

I know I am not a bobblehead and neither are my friends. Why does it seem lately that some of them are acting like bobbleheads? If you know that 1+1=2, why would you let your boyfriend or husband tell you that it’s 3 and you just go along with the okey doke? These are questions I’m asking myself recently.

Some of my close friends have been “losing their voices”. They don’t know how and when to speak up for themselves. They’re letting situations happen that they would never have allowed themselves to be in before. I’m watching them change into submissive versions of themselves and it’s truly painful to watch.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m divorced and I’m fine with that. I wouldn’t want to stay married in a situation I’m not happy or satisfied with just to be able to say I’m married. Or worse yet, just so I didn’t have to do the work of uncoupling. I’m freer more now than I ever was before and I use my words – all of them! I no longer sit quietly and allow myself to be disrespected. I speak up and voice what has disturbed my peace. No need to bottle up the words inside and hope that a person realizes I’m angry because I’m not saying anything. During my marriage, my sitting quietly meant everything was fine and dandy therefore nothing changed.

Relationships and marriage should be a give and take. Both parties are supposed to do both. If one is always giving and the other is always taking, there’s a problem. And you don’t get anywhere if you can’t communicate and say what is wrong. But then again, what do I know? I’m single and use my words.

Just saying……………….
What God says

July 2nd, 2025

I don’t know how you feel about God, but I love him and want to be obedient to him. I was supposed to start this blog in 2020, and it was supposed to be about going through my divorce. I didn’t do it because I doubted myself and thought I couldn’t. I didn’t want to be vulnerable and put my “business” in a public space. I didn’t listen to God’s nudging and instead chose to disobey and do nothing. Unbeknownst to me, that was the beginning of a really rough patch for me. I have had various health challenges, relationship issues, and bouts of depression.

After my dad’s death at the end of 2022, I knew that I had to do something because without his daily counsel, I would continue to spiral in the negativity. I started this blog in May 2023, after filing myself with what God says about me. I listened to Lauren Daigle’s song “You say” on repeat. I recited affirmations and poured out my heart to God in my journal.

I say all of this to say that I still have struggles to write in this space. I might not be consistent but I’m still trying to do what God has called me to do. I will continue to do so until he tells me differently. I write what is on my heart and mind or what he leads me to write about. I am not writing for likes or subscriptions to this blog. I care more about what God thinks than what man thinks and I’m pretty sure he’s happy if I continue to do just that!

I’m just saying…………..
Grateful things are as well as they are

June 6th, 2025

My sister and I have become accustomed to hearing these words from my mother when relaying situations to her. Often, it would frustrate us. I mean things were happening to us and they weren’t good things! I got a screw in my tire and instead of a free patch, I ended up with an $800 bill for 4 new tires. I griped about the expense. My sister had an early morning presentation at work and also had to stay late for a special meeting. She complained about being exhausted. Time after time, with work issues, relationship problems, traffic complaints, and more, my mom has the same words.

Recently, I’ve started to see the wisdom in those words that used to bother us. There are so many people that are unemployed, lonely or down on their luck. Suicide, divorce and unemployment continue to be on the rise. With everything going on in the world, I’m grateful for the job that I sit in traffic to get to. I’m thankful that I have a paycheck to pay for bills and unforeseen expenses. Where would I be if I had no friends or family to possibly have issues with?

So, yes mom, I’m grateful things are as well as they are.
Forgive

May 12th, 2025

About eight years ago now, a friendship of mine came to an end. My friend and I had been very close for over 15 years, or so I thought. Over the years, I was there for her through many different situations: Matron of honor at her wedding, the foreclosure of her first house, adopting a child, separation from her spouse and being by her side when her mother passed away. There were also several times that she needed to get away and I let her come and be at my home for hours and hours. I never complained. Not even when I had other plans or things to do. I also lent her money when she found herself short or in sticky situations.

Fast forward to 2016 and everything changed. My friend started spiraling and not in a good way. She was hanging out with people that encouraged wild spending and cheating on her spouse. I saw her behavior getting more and more erratic and I tried to advise her, but this “wild” lifestyle was too exciting. We started drifting apart. She had started paying back the loan and then abruptly stopped. When I questioned it, she told me that she thought I had given her the money. I was done!

I felt bitter and used for a while but then decided to chalk it up to experience. I never should have lent money that I needed back. She didn’t force me to do anything. I had made the choice myself. When she circled back a year and a half later trying to resurrect the friendship, I hesitated and proceeded with caution. The conversations were light and short. Then came the request for a loan. I explained that I was no longer in the business of lending money. I was accused of not caring that their car was going to be repossessed. WHAT, how is that my fault? I had been right to tread lightly. So, like that, the friendship was over.

In 2022, I did get a welfare text but by that time, I had learned to let it all go. This was a friendship for a season, not for a lifetime. I’ve forgiven her, not for her sake but for my own. No matter how people treat you, you get to choose how you deal with it. I choose to forgive and move on. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to have a relationship with the person that hurt you. It means that you choose to let go of any negative emotions and to grow personally. I learned to have better boundaries in friendships and better still, I learned to forgive myself!
Going Natural – Part 1

April 28th, 2025

Back in 2013, I was having an eczema breakout and was getting canker sores in my mouth on the regular. At the time I was using protopic ointment (tacrolimus) for the eczema and Kanka for the canker sores because that’s what the dermatologist and the dentist respectfully recommended. I remember looking at the ingredients one day and thinking that I didn’t know what most of them were. Octylacrylamide, Butylaminoethyl Methacrylate Copolymer, Cetylpyridinium Chloride, butylhydroxytoluene. What in the world am I putting on and in my body????? I discovered that it was chemical after chemical after chemical. No wonder I was experiencing some pain and swelling over my body. I was causing and feeding inflammation in my body.

That experience sent me down the path of getting rid of toxic cleaners for my home and for my body. I have discovered the wonderful world of DIY – do-it-yourself. Fast forward to 2019 and I started making all my household cleaners as well as the bulk of my personal care products. I try to use organic materials to make my products. If I purchase an item, I make sure that I know what the ingredients are, or I won’t purchase it. Knowing what I’m putting on my skin has given me great peace of mind and has lowered the toxic load I’m carrying.
Do you know a narcissist?

April 21st, 2025

Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels.com

A narcissist is an individual exhibiting excessive self-love, a strong sense of entitlement, and a lack of empathy for others. They often have an inflated sense of their own importance and seek constant admiration and validation. Does this sound familiar to you?

I know a person that seemed like an ordinary hurting individual. (In the past, I unfortunately often found myself trying to help or save people, even when they didn’t want help or need saving. My heart for people often prompted me but I’m working on that!!!) Anyhow, this person drew me in with sad stories about their life. They came from an abusive childhood. They are “all about family” and always trying to do things for their family. I fell for it all, hook, line and sinker!!! In reality, this person was trying to ruin a 20-year friendship I have. They were manipulating my friend to believe things about me that weren’t true. This person was talking out of both sides of their mouth. Telling me one thing and telling my friend the complete opposite. I didn’t start to catch on until they kept saying how humble they were. Uh, I’m sorry, do you know what the word humble means? They would brag about how their friend circle looked up to them. I was kept on the phone for hours even though I needed to get up early and go to work.

Suffice it to say that I did finally realize that this person did not care for me the slightest little bit. It was all about them and what they needed. I had to extract myself from the relationship without causing a violent reaction. Slowly but surely, I stopped stroking their ego and started saying truths I knew wouldn’t be appreciated. I asked questions about situations that couldn’t be answered and after a couple of weeks, I was OUT!!!!

Pay attention to the signs. Narcissists can be very clever. They can manipulate you into things and behavior you would never entertain on your own. When you see them for the narcissist they really are, do this one thing: Save yourself and RUN as quickly as you can in the opposite direction!!!!