Just Saying

When I was a child, I looked forward to Christmas because I knew Santa would visit and also I looked forward to reading the Christmas story.  In my teens, I wanted to be around my friends as much as possible doing fun Christmas activities.  As I got older, I looked forward to the Christmas parties and various get-togethers to celebrate with family and friends.  These last ten years or so, I’ve relished giving more as well as being in the moment when I’m with family and friends.  What I’ve realized is that these times will be the “good old days” in the future.  I’ll miss them then so I try not to take them for granted now. 

I didn’t understood why there were people that weren’t excited about Christmas and the “holidays”.  They looked at them as a dreary time of year and couldn’t wait for them to be over.  I always thought people should be happy at this time of year.  I now realize that people are experiencing loss as well as grieving those that have gone on and are currently missing at holiday gatherings.  It never occurred to me that my parents were missing their parents and siblings that have passed.  Everything is not joyful and happy.  There are dark times and a lot of suffering during this holiday season. 

We all have problems and we all have pain.  Even still, I’ve learned (and am still learning) that now is the perfect time to embrace the joy of the season.  That joy is the hope of Jesus.  He is born and he will save his people.  Celebrate today because He is Here!   Christ the Savior is born!  Merry Christmas!!!!

It’s a week before Christmas and I find myself bogged down at work and at home.  Before I can head off to enjoy the holiday with family, there is SO much to get done.  Most people find themselves in this same situation; last minute shopping, sending Christmas cards, baking, cleaning, and on and on.

I found myself watching a Hallmark Christmas movie this past week, while doing one of my many tasks.  I was just amazed at how the people were able to have perfectly decorated homes and also go caroling, make gingerbread houses and be involved in countless other holiday activities while still maintaining a full time job and taking care of a child under 13.  WHAT????  Where are these people because I need to become fast friends with them.  I’m single with no children and barely find time to watch a 2-hour Christmas movie in one sitting.  Hallmark portrays these characters that have high paying jobs and seemingly perfect little lives.  I mean, when have you ever seen one of these characters stuck on an expressway for an hour and a half because of construction?  Heck that happened to me today! 

We must remember that these types of movies are really fantasy and not reality.  Trying to do all these things and doing them perfectly is not realistic.  Those people that strive for this “perfection” will never attain it this side of Heaven.  It’s better to enjoy the real and imperfect, messy holidays with friends and family.  When we reflect upon the time later, will we even notice the imperfections or will we just remember the love and joy?

Tonight was my Yin/Restorative yoga class.  This month the teacher’s class focus is gratitude by candlelight.  It was really beautiful and relaxing with the flickering battery operated candles all over the studio.  We laid our mats down forming a circle around the instructor, and held various poses to open our hips.  Lying on the floor tonight for that hour thinking about things I’m grateful for, I felt full of peace.  My thoughts turned to this Advent season and the hope, peace, joy and love we should be focusing on at this time.  It was a lovely reminder that although life is extremely busy at this time of year, we need to slow down and remember the true reason for the season.

This past weekend, I was able to spend some time with a friend and her nine year old daughter.  This child is so special to me.  She is such a sweet child with a good heart and a strong love for God.  I accompanied them to a birthday party at a roller skating rink.  I was supposed to be there to help keep my friend company while the kids were off playing.  Instead, I was able to learn some things just by watching the kids having fun.

First of all, they were just enjoying each other’s company.  They didn’t worry about what they looked like or who was around.  Instead they threw themselves into the moment and the moment was to celebrate the tenth birthday, skate and play.   Secondly, the children weren’t afraid to try something new.  They had no fear of “failing”.  All three of the older kids started out with skate trainers and with a little encouragement, they were all skating without them by the end of the three hours.  The kids weren’t worried about whether they were able to progress or not.  They were just content to be.

It struck me that as adults, most of us have lost our ability to just kick back and have fun regardless of who’s around.  We’re usually concerned about how we’ll look to other adults.  A lot of us also won’t explore new things because we’re afraid we’ll look “silly” or not measure up to the standards of not just our peers, but the high expectations we’ve put on ourselves as well.    Oh to be like a child and dance (and sing) like no one’s watching – true freedom!!

A few hours ago, I dropped my mom and sister off at the airport for their return home.  They visited with me at my home for 9 days.  It was truly wonderful being around family since I have none nearby.  My closest relatives are either in North Carolina or Florida.   I truly love my friends, but there is nothing like being around family.  As I drove into the departure area, I could feel the emotions rising and tried to suppress them.  Lot of good that was!  My sister said I was crying when I hugged her goodbye and I hadn’t even felt the tears on my face.

I called a close older friend on the way home and asked her if it ever got easier saying goodbye.  She told me it doesn’t but I had already figured as much.  I’m so sad to be separated from my family and yet grateful that they took the time to visit.  Hence the bittersweetness I’m feeling at the moment.  If only I could be like Jeannie and blink and be with my family in mere seconds   But Jeannie was a television show and isn’t real.  Reality is we will have to continually say goodbyes in this life.  It’s not something we like but it’s something we must accept as part of this crazy and wonderful life we get to live.

This past Sunday I had a special event, I got baptized.  I found out that I had only been sprinkled.  I called to tell a very important couple the night before.  They don’t attend my church anymore and wished me well.   Sunday came and I was getting prepared and making sure my mom and sister had good seats when I found out that the information had been leaked and people had shown up for me.  WHAT?  People, that had stopped attending the church for various reasons, had shown up just to support me.  Three couples, including that special in their 80’s couple, and others came for the occasion.  It was emotional.  It was overwhelming.  It was wonderful! 

I can’t describe quite how I felt but I cried when I saw the people that came to celebrate with me.  It touched my heart so.  I say all of this to say that if you get the opportunity to support someone, do it!   Showing up matters!!!  You never know what being there can do for someone.  Keep showing up for others!!!

This time of year, people are busy and many are trying to purchase gifts for others, food and drink for celebrations, and making donations to different causes.  It’s an expensive time of year!  Sometimes, I find myself in situations where people try to put pressure on me to spend money.  I’m not talking about the kid next door selling fruit or wrapping paper as a school fundraiser.  I’m talking about being in the store looking for a particular item and a well meaning friend trying to get you to spend money on something else.  I was looking for a dress for a special event and a friend steered me to look at designer purses when I couldn’t find a dress I liked.  WHAT?  I don’t need or want a purse.  I need a dress.  When I stated that, I was given pushback about what a great price the purses were and how it was too good to leave in the store.  Despite ALL the things (and there were a lot) that were said to me to try to get me to purchase a bag, I left without one.

I am the only one that knows my thoughts on spending my money.  I don’t need to hear anyone else’s thoughts on how I should spend my money or how I “deserve” to buy something for myself.  As a working adult I and I alone, get to decide what I spend my money on.  I choose not to just compulsively shop all the time filling my house with things that I have no room for, and can’t possibly use them all just to say I have them.  OOPS, I’ve said too much.  Don’t judge me and I won’t judge you.

This past weekend marked the end of DST – Daylight Saving Time.  Yet again, we turned our clocks back one hour and naively rejoiced over the extra hour of sleep we would receive Saturday night.  What a joke, and not a funny one.  Every one I spoke with today was EXHAUSTED.  Somehow that extra hour wreaked havoc on our lives.  Some people (Can you see me raising my hand high?) weren’t able to fall asleep right away.  I continued to do laundry and chores to prepare for today.  Co-workers also did chores or whiled away the time watching TV or playing video games until they realized they had to get up in 4-5 hours.  NOT FUN!   The commute in was full of people driving like they were 15 and just learning to drive for the first time  Their decision making left a LOT to be desired.  Most of us sleepwalked through the day looking forward to the time we could escape and go home.  The setting sun made the commute home just a little bit worse than this morning as we all adjusted to trying to see in the early darkness.

More darkness=More depression.  Listen up legislators!  Let’s stop the madness of the twice a year clock change.  Let’s keep Daylight Saving Time permanently!!!

A friend invited me to go see MJ the Musical yesterday evening.  I didn’t know much about the show but decided to go.  Show turned out to be wonderful!!!  It was a reminder of old Jackson 5 songs, like “ABC” and “I Want You Back”, a lot of Michael’s personal hits like “Human Nature” and “She’s Out of My Life”, as well as some other popular songs.  The musical follows Jackson’s life up to his 1992 Dangerous Tour, mainly as a performer and hints at (but doesn’t dive into) some of the issues that came up during his life as “The King of Pop”.  I remember loving his music but becoming distracted by all the stories and allegations that came up against him.  I found myself not paying attention to his music as much and instead focusing on the negative press.  I realized last night that I miss his music and how some of his songs touched my life.  I know that we will never know the absolute truth behind all the “mysteries” of Michael Jackson this side of heaven, and we don’t need or have to.  Not knowing doesn’t affect our lives in any way and shouldn’t stop us from enjoying the music he left behind.  I can’t wait to listen to “Thriller” for Halloween tomorrow!!!

When I used to ask my dad how he was feeling, he usually told me he was “pushing”.  He also encouraged me to “push” when I would call him about something difficult or a current struggle.  “Just keep pushing” he’d say.  I believe his meaning was to keep getting back up and not give up/give in.  Now when I feel I’ve been knocked down or suffer a blow, I hear his voice and I “push”.   Difference is that not only am I continuing to get back up and fight, I’m also Praying Until Something Happens – P.U.S.H.

It’s rough out here!   Keep PUSHing!!!!