Just Saying

I had several names for you including “The Bank”, but I usually called you Superman.  You didn’t like it, but we would go back and forth and eventually always laugh about it.  You were just that to me!

I’m thankful for the pandemic because it gave me daily chats with you.  Although you always wanted me to figure things out for myself, you gave advice because you could hear the desperation in my voice when I called you.  You prayed for us and over us all every morning without fail. I still called for special prayer requests throughout the day.  It was always comforting to me just to hear your voice when I was stressed out or worried about something.  You consistently listened and occasionally chastised me when necessary.

Family vacations were our jam.  You were especially my partner in crime on cruises and we had a ball!!!!

You always sat quietly at busy social functions, taking everything in – observing.  Even though you preferred to be alone, you were always there when we needed you.  Everyone knew they could come to you because you listened without judgement, heard what was said and would respond directly and to the point. 

I mentioned to you how much I take after you, and I’ve seen so many more ways since.  I’ve missed you so much these past seven months!    I feel like I’ve lost my biggest supporter.   

Happy Heavenly birthday daddy!   You’ll always be my superman!!!

This is the first one without my dad.  I’ve been dreading this day for weeks now.  I’ve made no plans other than to go to church.  Want the day to be pretty low key.

I dreamed about him last night.  Well, actually I dreamed that the four of us were together as a family again.  Laughing, talking and doing our norm.  I postponed getting up because I didn’t want to let him go.

I reached out to several friends that are going through the same thing I am this year.  It’s a club that none of us ever wanted to be a part of but over this past year 7 of us find ourselves as members.  Some answer, and we are all praying for each other to get through the day as unscathed as possible.

After a truly motivating church service, I find myself talking to several friends that want to make sure I’m okay.  The afternoon passes quickly and then I complete my normal Sunday “get ready for work Monday” chores.  I check in on my sister and my mom and we have all made it!!! 

Happy Father’s Day in heaven daddy!!!

For four years, I’ve been in a place of trying to move forward but somehow going nowhere.  I’d take two steps forward and end up moving (it seemed) five steps back!  Then I was left wondering how I ended up there.  The struggle has been real!!!  Crying, begging, and praying for a breakthrough!

February-March 2023, I felt like a switch had been turned on.  The brain fog lifted.  Clarity and hope returned.  I am able to dream again.  I am, dare I say it, joyful!

I’ve procrastinated.  I’ve found excuses.  I’ve done all my Type A craziness, but here I am.  I’m finally being obedient to what I’ve felt called to do.  I’m being vulnerable and honest in a public space.  It’s exciting and scary.  It’s exhilarating and terrifying.  Ultimately, it’s so freeing!!!

I’m just saying…..