Just Saying

This past weekend, I was able to spend some time with a friend and her nine year old daughter.  This child is so special to me.  She is such a sweet child with a good heart and a strong love for God.  I accompanied them to a birthday party at a roller skating rink.  I was supposed to be there to help keep my friend company while the kids were off playing.  Instead, I was able to learn some things just by watching the kids having fun.

First of all, they were just enjoying each other’s company.  They didn’t worry about what they looked like or who was around.  Instead they threw themselves into the moment and the moment was to celebrate the tenth birthday, skate and play.   Secondly, the children weren’t afraid to try something new.  They had no fear of “failing”.  All three of the older kids started out with skate trainers and with a little encouragement, they were all skating without them by the end of the three hours.  The kids weren’t worried about whether they were able to progress or not.  They were just content to be.

It struck me that as adults, most of us have lost our ability to just kick back and have fun regardless of who’s around.  We’re usually concerned about how we’ll look to other adults.  A lot of us also won’t explore new things because we’re afraid we’ll look “silly” or not measure up to the standards of not just our peers, but the high expectations we’ve put on ourselves as well.    Oh to be like a child and dance (and sing) like no one’s watching – true freedom!!

A few hours ago, I dropped my mom and sister off at the airport for their return home.  They visited with me at my home for 9 days.  It was truly wonderful being around family since I have none nearby.  My closest relatives are either in North Carolina or Florida.   I truly love my friends, but there is nothing like being around family.  As I drove into the departure area, I could feel the emotions rising and tried to suppress them.  Lot of good that was!  My sister said I was crying when I hugged her goodbye and I hadn’t even felt the tears on my face.

I called a close older friend on the way home and asked her if it ever got easier saying goodbye.  She told me it doesn’t but I had already figured as much.  I’m so sad to be separated from my family and yet grateful that they took the time to visit.  Hence the bittersweetness I’m feeling at the moment.  If only I could be like Jeannie and blink and be with my family in mere seconds   But Jeannie was a television show and isn’t real.  Reality is we will have to continually say goodbyes in this life.  It’s not something we like but it’s something we must accept as part of this crazy and wonderful life we get to live.

This past Sunday I had a special event, I got baptized.  I found out that I had only been sprinkled.  I called to tell a very important couple the night before.  They don’t attend my church anymore and wished me well.   Sunday came and I was getting prepared and making sure my mom and sister had good seats when I found out that the information had been leaked and people had shown up for me.  WHAT?  People, that had stopped attending the church for various reasons, had shown up just to support me.  Three couples, including that special in their 80’s couple, and others came for the occasion.  It was emotional.  It was overwhelming.  It was wonderful! 

I can’t describe quite how I felt but I cried when I saw the people that came to celebrate with me.  It touched my heart so.  I say all of this to say that if you get the opportunity to support someone, do it!   Showing up matters!!!  You never know what being there can do for someone.  Keep showing up for others!!!

This time of year, people are busy and many are trying to purchase gifts for others, food and drink for celebrations, and making donations to different causes.  It’s an expensive time of year!  Sometimes, I find myself in situations where people try to put pressure on me to spend money.  I’m not talking about the kid next door selling fruit or wrapping paper as a school fundraiser.  I’m talking about being in the store looking for a particular item and a well meaning friend trying to get you to spend money on something else.  I was looking for a dress for a special event and a friend steered me to look at designer purses when I couldn’t find a dress I liked.  WHAT?  I don’t need or want a purse.  I need a dress.  When I stated that, I was given pushback about what a great price the purses were and how it was too good to leave in the store.  Despite ALL the things (and there were a lot) that were said to me to try to get me to purchase a bag, I left without one.

I am the only one that knows my thoughts on spending my money.  I don’t need to hear anyone else’s thoughts on how I should spend my money or how I “deserve” to buy something for myself.  As a working adult I and I alone, get to decide what I spend my money on.  I choose not to just compulsively shop all the time filling my house with things that I have no room for, and can’t possibly use them all just to say I have them.  OOPS, I’ve said too much.  Don’t judge me and I won’t judge you.

This past weekend marked the end of DST – Daylight Saving Time.  Yet again, we turned our clocks back one hour and naively rejoiced over the extra hour of sleep we would receive Saturday night.  What a joke, and not a funny one.  Every one I spoke with today was EXHAUSTED.  Somehow that extra hour wreaked havoc on our lives.  Some people (Can you see me raising my hand high?) weren’t able to fall asleep right away.  I continued to do laundry and chores to prepare for today.  Co-workers also did chores or whiled away the time watching TV or playing video games until they realized they had to get up in 4-5 hours.  NOT FUN!   The commute in was full of people driving like they were 15 and just learning to drive for the first time  Their decision making left a LOT to be desired.  Most of us sleepwalked through the day looking forward to the time we could escape and go home.  The setting sun made the commute home just a little bit worse than this morning as we all adjusted to trying to see in the early darkness.

More darkness=More depression.  Listen up legislators!  Let’s stop the madness of the twice a year clock change.  Let’s keep Daylight Saving Time permanently!!!

A friend invited me to go see MJ the Musical yesterday evening.  I didn’t know much about the show but decided to go.  Show turned out to be wonderful!!!  It was a reminder of old Jackson 5 songs, like “ABC” and “I Want You Back”, a lot of Michael’s personal hits like “Human Nature” and “She’s Out of My Life”, as well as some other popular songs.  The musical follows Jackson’s life up to his 1992 Dangerous Tour, mainly as a performer and hints at (but doesn’t dive into) some of the issues that came up during his life as “The King of Pop”.  I remember loving his music but becoming distracted by all the stories and allegations that came up against him.  I found myself not paying attention to his music as much and instead focusing on the negative press.  I realized last night that I miss his music and how some of his songs touched my life.  I know that we will never know the absolute truth behind all the “mysteries” of Michael Jackson this side of heaven, and we don’t need or have to.  Not knowing doesn’t affect our lives in any way and shouldn’t stop us from enjoying the music he left behind.  I can’t wait to listen to “Thriller” for Halloween tomorrow!!!

When I used to ask my dad how he was feeling, he usually told me he was “pushing”.  He also encouraged me to “push” when I would call him about something difficult or a current struggle.  “Just keep pushing” he’d say.  I believe his meaning was to keep getting back up and not give up/give in.  Now when I feel I’ve been knocked down or suffer a blow, I hear his voice and I “push”.   Difference is that not only am I continuing to get back up and fight, I’m also Praying Until Something Happens – P.U.S.H.

It’s rough out here!   Keep PUSHing!!!!

A simple saying that my mom has said over the years.  Simply put it means that she wants to be celebrated while she is still on this side of the dirt and can celebrate with us.  It’s true!   Why do we put off doing things with people?  Then when they’ve passed on, we bring flowers, cry, and wish we had more time to do the things we wanted to with them.

Taking this into consideration, I’ve taken two trips in the past month to celebrate some people.  First up was Panama City Beach in late September.  This was to attend a surprise 50^th wedding anniversary party for a good friend of mine.  Although the surprise had been ruined by some well-meaning friends that couldn’t attend, my friend and her husband were overwhelmed by all the people that did show up.  It was moving to see the husband tear up seeing his family that had traveled from TX for the occasion.  My friend told me she was surprised by the amount of people that showed up for them.  I told her that they had made a great impression on lots of people’s lives, so people showed up for them.

Second trip was an extended weekend in Charleston, SC during the first week of October.  I met up with my cousins to celebrate one cousin’s husband’s 70^th birthday.  It was a surprise trip, and he didn’t discover until arriving at the hotel just how many people (14) had traveled to mark this occasion with him.  At his special dinner, he thanked us for taking the time to be there for him.  Once again, I thought about the impact that he has had on my life and the lives of so many others.

My point is that I didn’t have to go on either trip, but I would have missed out on so much by not going.  The last time I saw some of my cousins was at my dad’s funeral.  By going, I created good memories by hanging out, laughing, and enjoying their company for a while.   Yes, I’m going to continue to give out some flowers now, while I still can.  Who knows?  I might even receive some.

Recently the subject of things we have to pay for has come up several times in my circle of friends.  It seems that as time passes, more and more things that were free have become things we have to pay for.  Remember when water was free?  Now the average cost of a bottle of water ranges from one to four dollars.  It seems new television streaming services pop up daily and I still remember when tv was free.  We’re paying thirty-five extra dollars on top of flight fares for the privilege of sitting in the exit row.  Airline ticket prices used to include any seat selection except for first class.   What about picking up your concert or theatre tickets at the venue?  Now, especially since the pandemic, tickets are purchased online (or through an app) and you’re charged a convenience and an administrative charge although it was not convenient for you at all!!!

As our lives continue to get busier, we are allowing conveniences to become necessities.  When we do this, we are pushing the line further and further back for what we’ll pay for.  Seems to me, the more we go along with the program, the more we will be charged for simple things.  You may feel it doesn’t seem like such a big deal now.  What happens when you have to pay to enter a public restroom or have to pay for toilet paper in that restroom?  Perspective changes – just something to think about.

Each day is a gift.  We say it, but do we realize just how true it really is? 

I was reminded recently that we are supposed to live in the present.  That means today.  We’re not supposed to be consumed with worries about tomorrow, or upset about things from the past.  We are to enjoy right now!!!  That’s not to say we don’t ever think about these things, but we’re not to let them take over our thoughts and distract us from what’s happening right now.  Live each day fully.  Do and see all the things.  Jesus said in Matthew 6:34, “…do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.”

Again I say each day is a gift.  Enjoy the gift of the present!